August BIRCHBOX

It's here, it's here, IT'S HERE!!! My August Birchbox arrived in the mail on Monday and I'm super excited to reveal its' contents. Although I'm still not 100% impressed with the selections I've been given, I'm going to keep it for at least a year. I think the boxes should improve the longer I have the subscription or at least that's what I've heard. This month was better than last month's so that's a plus.

The theme in this box is "Finishing School". They've stepped away from the notorious Swiss academy feel and moved more towards details--handwritten invitations to red lipstick. These are the goodies packed and shipped just for me.

(malin + goetz)
Grapefruit face cleanser | Full-size, $30
WHAT  A best-selling cleanser that dissolves makeup, clears blemishes, and balances pH levels.
HOW    Massage this foaming cleanser into damp skin and rise.

coastal scents
Eye Shadow | Full-size, $34-$39
WHAT  Four complementary shades that can be worn alone or layered for a smoky look.
HOW    Sweep medium hues over lids and blend the darkest in creases. Use the light shade as a highlighter.

kms california
FREESHAPE Hot Flex Spray | Full-size, $19
WHAT  Heat-activated spray that protects against breakage and damage while providing medium hold.
HOW    Spray generously into towel-dried hair before breakin' out the tools.

modelco
Party Proof Lipstick | Set of 3, $24
WHAT  A semi-matte lipstick that delivers both hydration and lasting pigment.
HOW    One coat will do, but feel free to layer it on for extra richness.

showstoppers
Designer Fashion Tape | Full-size, $10
WHAT  Celeb stylists swear by these double-sided tap strips, which prevent any wardrobe mishaps.
HOW    Peel off the backings and press down to secure. Apply to fabric or directly to your skin.

My initial reviews:
Malin + Goetz | This was the product I tried first. I love everything grapefruit and being this has grapefruit in it, I knew I'd love it. The second best feature? It claims to remove makeup along with washing your face and I'd say that I have to agree. My skin can still feel tacky with my normal skincare routine if I don't watch it, but with this product, everything is removed and my skin feels smooth and fresh when I'm done.

Coastal Scents | These four eye shadow colors are very pretty. I'm a little angry that one of the shadows arrived broken up. Buuut I've heard nothing but positive reviews on Coastal Scents so I know they'll be great when I actually use them.

KMS California | So I don't use many hair products. Other than hair spray, gel (aerosol or spray), and heat protectant serum, I don't think I need anything else. Seeing that this is a heat-spray, I know I'll love this product. I unscrewed the top to smell it and it's got a funky stench. But I have smelled worse so I can live with it and I'll give it a try the next time I curl my hair.

ModelCo | Blahhhh. I don't like this stuff. The color I got was called "Dusk Till Dawn" and it's this weird brown color. Not like a nude brown but more of a reddish brown. The texture of this lipstick is very luxurious so that helps me look past the color. I'm not sure I'd spend over $20 for these. I'm pretty addicted to my Maybelline lipsticks so I'll pass with ModelCo. #sorrynotsorry

ShowStoppers | This was the lifestyle extra that Birchbox added to their boxes this month. So yeah....fashion tape. I don't know who really uses this but I sure don't. I got it as a freebie when I worked at Francesca's and I think I've used it mayyybe once. When would you need to use it? Yeah, I'm going to perform in my ballroom dress and my girls might pop out. Gotta remember my fashion tape!! Or Time for the swimsuit competition and I need to make sure it doesn't ride up my rear. Gotta remember my fashion tape!! I mean, come ON.

Let's go, Birchbox. Step it up!! I like you but I really want to love you.

Smoking Tools

Achieving the smokey eye look is something every girl dreams of doing. It's not our only dream--just when it comes to makeup! We have perspired through all of the learning and tweaking to our face shapes, but not all of us have accomplished it. Several brands come out with the next new tool to make this application that much easier. Smudging sponges are what you would see on the shelves most often, but several brands are starting to make chubby eye pencils to help create this smokey look.

Almay creates the look with complimentary eye shadows. I have several favorites with these.

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Maybelline creates the look with thick eyeliners and smudging sponges. My favorite was Blue Blaze.

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And Covergirl has marketed these products with a chubby stick. My favorite was Turquoise Ember.

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I have tried the normal eye liner pencils with smudging sponges on the other end and they work pretty well. But these listed above are a little bit different and I wanted to try them all. I'm sure Jerry loves that I'm buying more makeup. It's for the blog, honey! 

Over the weekend I decided to buy two of these products and compare them as closely as possible. I wanted to find out which one is more bang for your buck. Any early predictions?

1 | The first one I tried was the Maybelline Master Smoky Long-wearing Shadow Pencil. There were six different color options including black, brown, gray, teal, navy, and purple. **Eyes move back and forth, back and forth. Which one do I chose?!** I ruled them out according to what shadows I already have and could achieve this look alone. Black? Too easy. Brown? I have the shadows. Gray? Again, too easy. Teal? I'm going to hold on to this one. Navy? I'll snag this one too! Purple? I already have purple liners so this one can stay too. After seeing my pictures above, I'm sure you can guess that I bought the navy in this product and the teal/gold in the Covergirl product--more on this one in a sec.

The thing I absolutely loved about this--aside from the rich navy color--was the sponge applicator. It was as thick as the pencil so I was able to smudge over more eyelid-ground. Multi-use products like this one makes me happy. I can smudge it for a smoky look, I can draw it on like normal eyeliner and even give a little cat eye on the outer edges of my eyes.

2 | The second product I bought was the Covergirl Smoky ShadowBlast. There are many colors but they come in duos. I didn't want to pick the combo of peach and lime green nor did I want something like gray or black. And because I put back the teal Maybelline stick, I knew the combo above of teal/gold would be perfect!

This one was a little more tricky to apply. The directions said to apply the rounded side to your lids and then apply the pointed side to the crease and to line your eyes. If you haven't mastered this smoky look yet, I wouldn't recommend this product only because smudging can become difficult. When I applied like the directions asked, I could do it. But to smudge the colors, I had to keep applying more of the stick. The gold and teal did pair well together so maybe I'm rushing to judgement with that peach and lime green that they have. Maybe it's some newfound color combo!

Anywho, when I compare the two...

MAYBELLINE

COVERGIRL

And that's my review!! What did you think? Do you agree or disagree? Do you have any other smoky eye products that you would suggest? 

Tanning Lotion and CC Cream

I got the email yesterday that the August Birchbox had been shipped and it should be arriving early next week. I didn't know this because it will only be my second box but they have a theme each month. July's picks were based on the USA show "Suits". I saw through their Facebook page that this month's picks are based on Ann Taylor and "finishing school". They also revealed a few sneak peaks on the picks but the boxes are not all the same so I'm not sure what I'll be getting.

I figured since I hadn't done a real review on any of July's products, I wanted to do one now. Actually, I'm going to review two so fasten your seat belts and away we go!

juice beauty stem cellular repair cc cream
I was going to a birthday party today for Jerbear's sister and I didn't feel like putting on a full face of makeup especially since she had planned outside games. This was going to be the perfect day to test out this CC cream. I tried it on my neck last month and thought I was going to love this product. Buuut, after wearing it on my whole face, I don't really like it.

First things first, it smells AWFUL. The only thing I can compare it to is celery. And who wants to smell like celery? Not me. I will say that after having it on for less than 30 minutes, the smell started to sweeten. I don't know if it's because there are grape derivatives as part of the ingredients or what, but it grew on me.

The second thing is that it wasn't really the color I would choose. This sample was called "warm glow" and I looked quite glow-ey but because my skin is already yellow-toned, adding more of this golden cream to my face made me look strange. The tanned color was good just not the tone. I feel like I'm not making any sense.

And the last thing is that it doesn't cover how I would like it to cover. Yes, it's not a full foundation, but if I'm going to be wearing it on my running-errand-days, then I would like it to cover a little better. I think I've mentioned this before but my face is being stubborn at the moment and this cream doesn't hide the redness.

All in all, I love that it's organic but I think I would try a different one or just stick with foundation. If you already have blemish-free skin, then this product might be your jackpot!

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Size: 1.7oz. | Price: $39.00

body drench quicktan gradual self tanning lotion
Back to that birthday party...it's getting to be the end of Summer and I haven't had a sunburn or tan in a month or so. And knowing that I was going to be around some tanned teenagers, I knew I wanted to try out this tanning lotion. So I washed and exfoliated as directed.

First things first, this lotion was not nearly as pungent as most tanning lotions that I've smelled. Yay!! I hate it when tanning lotions smell nasty and linger for days.

The second thing is that the sample I received was two packets and one packet covered my entire body. I'm not kidding. I started out with my legs and feet since I wasn't sure how far it would spread. Then I applied it to my arms and neck. When I still had some left, I applied it to my lower back and stomach. And when I still had some left, I asked Jerry to apply it to the top of my back. He used the rest of it then but I was very pleasantly surprised that it covered all of me.

And the last thing is something that I don't like, unfortunately. It's tacky. The directions tell you to apply it and wait until it dries before you put on your clothes. I guess so that it does not rub off? I get that but I waited close to 20 minutes before I had to put on my shirt. We were running late so I just had to do it. We stopped at a store on the way there and it was still tacky but just on my back. Everything else was fine. So maybe I'll just wait to apply it on the next day when I'm not pressed for time.

All in all, I would definitely recommend this tanning lotion to anyone.

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Size: 8oz. Price: $11.88 on Amazon

High Five for FRIDAY!!

Guess what, guys?! IT'S FRIDAY!!!! And you know what that means? It's time to recap my top five favorite things from the week! 

123go!

1. I love playing with this black-haired beauty. Asher is my favorite and he thinks he's so smart when he's sneaking up on me. #notsofastlittleone

2. Jerbear's sister turned 13 this week!! I got her a pretty cool cosmetic bag if I do say so myself. This was what it looked like. I have one just like it except in a different color.

3. I learned this hellish creature is an orb spider. Apparently they're not poisonous but they're still scarier than any spider I've ever seen!

4. If you remember from a few months back, I made a food passport. Five Points Pizza was on the list and we ate there last night. This meatball stromboli was to die for!

5. Finally decided to put up my recipe for Oreo balls. It's super easy and delicious. Probably my favorite snack when I'm wanting something like cake.

It sucks that the Nashville area had and is continuing to have so much rain for the next week. Everyone stay safe and enjoy your weekends!!

I'm linking up with Lauren Elizabeth for H54F.

I never thought it would be me.

I try not to get too personal in my blog posts, but my heart has been so heavy the last week or two that I just needed to get it out. I hope that there is at least one person who can identify with me because I don't know exactly how to deal with my emotions. It has literally been the scariest roller coaster of my life and I haven't even begun the real ride. I need encouragement, love, direction, and most importantly, prayer.

I don't know if you've heard these statistics, but here they are. Per the Center for Disease Control (CDC), there are 1.5 million married women between 15 and 44 years old who are infertile, which comes out to 6%. These are the women who have tried to conceive for 12 consecutive months of unprotected sex (source). Am I infertile? No. But Jerry is. The CDC states that 18% of men younger than age 45 have been diagnosed with an infertility problem (source). He had a sperm analysis and the test results told us that he has no sperm. Really? No sperm?? At this point, I'm freaking out a little a lot. I'm sad, angry, confused, and sick just to name a few of my current emotions.Why does he have no sperm?? We don't know the answer and we're not sure if it's worth the efforts to find out. He has a heart condition so it would be risky to put him under just to "look around" and harvest sperm that he could have. You know, those sperm that didn't want to leave their home. I doubt that if this lab test didn't show any that there were still some there. PLUS he had testicle surgery when he was younger so the doctors knew there could be a slim possibility of problems.

Thankfully, we do have other options. I just don't know if any of these can compare to being pregnant with OUR child. That's what's throwing me. Knowing that I can never have a child with both of our genes makes me extremely upset. And it's exhausting to cry over it every time it comes up. All I can do is feel numb. All I can do is tell everyone that I'm "fine" when deep down I'm not.

We're set to meet with a doctor soon to go over these options but we think we know what those entail: artificial insemination (AI) with a donor OR adoption. At first, I was totally opposed to having a sperm donor but if my heart is still set on experiencing pregnancy, that's the only way to do it. We can pick what we want from a donor so even though it would be a stranger, hopefully it would inherit my looks so people don't question if we stole him/her from the hospital.

And then there's adoption. We haven't even begun to delve into it and we're already stressed to the max. It's a lot of freakin' money. A LOT. Going through the State would ensure less money but it wouldn't ensure a baby. They have mainly older children or teens. And I'm sure most moms who can't naturally conceive, turn to adoption wanting a baby. It sucks balls that we have to pay to adopt a kid. You'd think if they really wanted the children away from the State and foster homes, that it would lower and they would have better homes. But the State doesn't think like that unfortunately. Adopting through a private agency is where they squeeze your wallet dry. There were a few I found online that had the fee schedule listed and they totaled around $30K. NO young parents have that kind of money. I don't know what we're going to do.

This is where prayer comes into play. Not only do I need help with my emotional being but we need to figure out which plan is best for us. I want a baby so badly!

I'm hesitant to be writing about this because it's not reason for a pity-party. I don't want my friends and family to feel sorry for us. Yes this is a setback, but we'll be parents one way or the other. I just hate it because so many of my friends and acquaintances are pregnant right now. I'm happy for them but when is it going to be my turn? When will my belly grow and be able to feel kicks and go through the pain of childbirth? It might not be in my cards. I'll have to learn to accept that.


So while I'm at it, I'm going to list reasons why I'm happy to NOT be pregnant. Just roll with me. This is my official attempt to help ease some of the pain.

1. I'll never get stretch marks--other than the occasional few on my lard-like legs. #fatkid

2. I won't have to worry with my hoo-ha getting too stretched out.

3. No morning sickness or exhaustion. Woo!!

4. No uncomfortable sleeping positions. I'm a tummy sleeper til the end.

5. I won't have to miss a ton of work due to OB appointments--although I might have to miss the same amount depending on where our life takes us with the above options.

6. My feet won't grow a size. How horrible would it have been if I had to get rid of my current shoe collection and start from scratch? That's just plain scary.

7. I can actually begin a workout habit--I'M GUILTY! I was waiting to have a child to begin working out. It seemed like double work to start now, get fat with a kid growing inside me, and then have to lose it all over again.

8. I won't have to worry with engorgment. #ouch

9. No swelling or abnormally achey body parts.

10. Maybe whatever gene Jerry has that made him infertile is a blessing in disguise. This ensures that it can't get passed down to our kids.

And in the end, I try to find some humor in the situation and Google finds these for me. (Some of the text is cut off but just scroll past this and I added my favorites)

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Does anyone have any advice they could throw my way? Like I said, I could really use some encouraging words and prayers. Becoming a parent is what I've longed for especially with Jerry. He is everything I've needed in a man. And seeing him as a dad would have made me fall in love with him even more. So now what?